At the ripe age of 66, even though I am getting healthier, I have outlived my expectations already so as I see it I already won. I also outlived the intentions of a past vindictive wife so I have a double win! Take into account that she passed on several years ago and I am receiving benefits from her Social Security so that makes it a “triple play”… I don’t celebrate her passing but I surely celebrate the extra income!
For a couple years I also celebrated my receiving housing and utilities in exchange for guarding an inactive retreat that is many miles from civilization. However two years of isolation from society has become quite boring for me. It was beneficial while I was involved in intense study to gain my certifications in hypnosis, NLP, Life coaching, and business success coaching, but having gained those certifications now I feel inclined to get back into civilization where I can put them to good use.
I could easily sit back for the remainder of my life and have enough income to live fairly comfortably. However, being isolated from society is no longer very comfortable. Without the excitement of challenges, life becomes boring for me. As I am learning to better understand ADHD, boredom only compounds the anxiety already existent with a hyperactive mind.
Yes, in my boredom I chose further study and chose to study attention deficit hyperactive disorder. In my study I came to the realization that I have 90%, or better, of all indications of ADHD. Finally, as a senior citizen, I understand why I had such trouble conforming to society throughout my life.
For many people, fear stops them in their tracks. They see it as an alarm going off to warn them they should not move forward. But I often view fear as the opposite. I view it as a beacon directing me toward excitement – precisely what I desire to stimulate my senses.
I have come to learn that those who have ADHD are often prone to seek challenges in order to stimulate the brain into administering a dose of dopamine. As a firm believer that the universe conspires to guide us to serve our life purpose, I can easily imagine that my life purpose may well be to help others who are challenged by the condition labeled ADHD. Whether it is fate, destiny, or coincidence, my interests, studies and learned talents serve such a purpose. And so it is!
Knowing that my ADHD tendencies can easily influence me to take on more projects than I can possibly execute successfully, I have chosen to abandon, at least temporarily, several activities that I was engaged in. Attempting to do more things than I am capable of lends to possible failures, which contributes to trauma, rather than to my intended pleasures derived from accomplishment. This is why many who have symptoms of ADHD are also subject to PTSD complications. PTSD being Post traumatic stress disorder.
ADHD and the perfectionist – a perfect combination for failure leading to PTSD and – what is that word for stress – anxiety disorder… AD I think they call it. I am often condemned for n “never finishing anything”, which is false for the most part. I do finish some things but I start so many that it looks as though I never finish. But then due to wanting perfection – to avoid criticism and further PTST and AD – I likely do fail to finish projects and get them out for public scrutiny. There it is again! Is that the correct way to express the former thought? Is it proper sentence structure? Maybe some judgmental english guru will criticize – so let them entertain themselves – I am going to express myself the best way I can so that we can learn how get a handle on ADHD, PTSD, AD, and dyslexia, etc.
I just remembered I can dictate and don’t have to type. That will simplify this and simplification is a key to harnessing the powers that come with ADHD and these other anomalies. Maybe I should say abnormalities. So in an effort to avoid scrutiny I refer to the dictionary to be sure of the proper usage. Yes that proves to be correct usage of the word anomaly.
Now what was I thinking before I was distracted by the possibility of misuse of a word? Simplification and perfectionism. I need to learn how to focus and complete a task, or at least complete steps toward the completion of the task. I tend to want to get to the end of the task bringing it to total completion. That causes me to think past the steps and omit the steps. Since I thought of the steps in my mind it seems that I expect others to just get it!
We can’t expect others to know what we know and it is very frustrating to someone with ADHD to have to go back and teach the fundamentals that we feel others should have learned already. I suffered with this in my first year in structured schooling. My curiosity, my need to know, cause my mother to submit to my demands and teach me how to read at least one year before I started school.
Oh my – now the dictation quit working and I have to restart my computer – not good for someone with ADHD but I will concentrate and get back to this when I get the computer restarted. Save this and remember where I put it…
Project done. And I managed to get by the distractions when closing programs and noticing some things that I have not gotten to yet. I will complete this project then move on to the next one after I get this posted. In fact, I’m going to post this as a work in progress.
Hopefully I have a place for people to comment so that they can contact me and we can create a study group that will help us harness the power’s of those diagnosed with ADHD, PTSD, AD and LMNOP – just a little joke to lighten up the subject.
Okay finish this step and post it then move on… imperfections and all at least this step will be complete! See? I am finishing a step – success!
Hint – don’t strive to get it perfect but just get it done!
P.S. I discontinued my Facebook page do to the unnecessary distractions – until I gain helpers to help me keep things in order. That leaves my mind at a loss since I now want to post this to Facebook – but they never showed appreciation anyway so I just go with it this way.
P.S.S. I reestablished my Facebook page – to heck with needing approval – I am going to express my views for those who might benefit despite the objections that may surface! Find my page at the Facebook url with /trustgod after it. Like the page and comment with your contact info if interested. No – I don’t want to join Empower Network so give up already! I have my standards and they don’t allow me to promote such a merry-go-round…